Oh, Peace, I wasn't saying for her not to be prepared. It was just my opinion and experience (and I am saddened to think that some children are actually taken from good homes when others are left in the throes of horrible abuse) that Nikki shouldn't be making herself sick or upset about it b/c the CPS I've encountered have been cautious and helpful (maybe I've been lucky???). I do think if push comes to shove your advice is sage though.
And on that note, now that I think of it, Nikki why aren't you calling his bluff? Seriously, the more I think about it (and re-read your post), I'm thinking you need to talk to your ex. Not his mommy, him (tell her to butt out! LOL). Have you calmly addressed his concerns and asked him what it is that he wants? I know that may be a thorn in your side, but maybe if you put it in his court (like asking him, "Well, what would be your solution to this problem?" KWIM?) and make him actually take responsibility rather than just getting to sit back and piss and moan. Maybe he'll realize he's being a stoopid poopy (to quote one of my kindergarteners
) and back off.
Sorry you're dealing with this!