myrmom

i know who your talking about...there is a lot of talk about it on my ap board. I don't agree with it. I understand the idea behind it that if someone else is constantly praising you you will do thing for praise rather then for the self fufillment you get out of accomplishing the task. However I think there is a happy medium in life. I don't think I need to be the only person who is proud of me for doing stuff. AFter I gave birth to Rufus completely naturally I felt empowered, and super proud of myself. I didn't need anyone else telling me I had done a wonderful job. However it did feel wonderful to hear from my dh, my nurses and my doula that I was awesome and amazing. It only made the feeling I had within myself stronger. That is how I feel when it comes to praising children. I think if the do something worth recognizing then praise is due. I don't tell Ewan good job after he finishes every meal, however when he learns a new colour I tell him how proud I am of him and clap and cheer for him. When Rufus started walking with the push walker I was encourging and clapping and cheering him on. When he rolls over the fortieth time I don't clap and cheer and get excited.

I'm not sure if i'm making any sense here...lol.

Recently Ewan painted a bunch of pictures and I was so proud of the job he did so I told him that mommy loved his pictures sooo much she was going to hang them up on the walls(which I did). I didn't gush over what an amazing artist he is, I didn't say things like omg Ewan that is the best paint job every. I didn't tell him he was going to an artist and dance around for joy. I think showing them we are proud of them sometimes is better then telling them..but I think that the telling needs to be there too in some respects.

when Ewan pees on the potty he gets sooo excited, I figure if I got over excited I would be diminishing his own excitement. I will often say...look at you, you are soooo proud of yourself aren't you. Mommy is proud of you too.

I try not to good job all day long either....but it is hard..I mean these are my kids i'm pretty much proud of everythign they do!

__________________