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Re: Praising?
I am right there with you on the praise thing. DH and I both can't help it - we also clap hands, hug him and cheer him, all the time. And he does this for us too.... it's really cute and I think it's a good trait. If we are playing ball and I catch the ball he actually says "good job mom!" which seems really communicative for a 2-3 yr old.
In some parenting book I have... They discuss different child personality and parenting types. The cite on fictional example of how parents prasied their child for everything and offered her no challenges or constructive criticism. Thus she became medicore student who had no ambitions and emotionally sensitive or something. But of course another child may have resonded differently.
I feel there is no need to decrease the amount of praise we offer our kids or anyone we love. Praise is really vital. But I also offer Brendan opportunity to challenge himself. Especially when he suddenly "can't do something" I know he can. I will say "keep trying..... you can do it" instead of just do it for him or say "that's ok" with the same praising vocals.
And of course the other side is when he looks over to see if their is approval for his behaviour..... and he is doing something naughty like mashing his banana into woodfloors or colouring on the wall. I will show him plenty of non approval and of course no praise. With out constructive feedback, constant praise would be scary. But together they are a healthy balance.
Kinda like the book mentioned you need take each child into consideration. My guess is that girls are prone to linking praise and approval to self worth in our culture. I know it's a big area for me who like your husband received a lot of criticism when I was young and did not do well because of it. Even today with praise I excell.
Rhianna
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