Ms. Mimi

Every time there has been a school shooting, the shooter claims that bullying was the prime motive for their actions. I, thankfully, have not had to deal with this, as a bullier or being bullied. My older son was having problems with one kid when he was in 3rd grade, but I was quick to nip that in the bud.

Have you or your children ever had a problem with bullies?

Have you or you children ever been the bully?

How will/have you deal with bullying?

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meanmeanteacher

I had jsut posted a long lovely message.. and I got that damn message to short error and it wiped it out! GRRR!!! I gotta remember to copy my messages before tehy disappear....

ok, let me see if I can reconstruct my message...
As a teacher I see bullying all the time-- or rather I hear of it... I know it is happening-- esp with 2 specific children. I have tried sending them to the office, but since I do not "see it" myself, the office claims they can do noehitng, becasue it just a students word against a student;s word... These boys are excessively sneaky-- the second my attention is off of them, they are at it-- but I can't catch them. I have 33 kids to wathc-- my eyes can not be on them at all times. This probably frusterates me more thananything else in teaching.

If my child was being bullied, I would be calling teh school constantly until I knew something happened. It is not fair that some children spend their lives being put down. Some days I wanna smack these 2 boys silly... but all I can do is try to keep the kids I know are being picked on on the otehr side of my room, as far away from tehm as I can. I make them walk in line with me-- I won't let any kids in the bathroom at the same time.. which is a PITA, but they are not going to torture the other children... We line up as an entire class, and I sit there as they go in one at a time, and wait in line with me....

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JuJu'smama

Did kids 100 years ago get bullied? YES Did they go to school and shoot it up? NO I truly believe as a society we don't make our children take responsibility for their actions. Maybe the VT guy didn't get enough attention growing up, never felt loved, who knows but it doesn't excuse him. I was bullied when my parents were going through a divorce and my dad was diagnosed with MS. I didn't shoot anybody, I didn't even punch anyone in the face (although a few deserved it). I became stronger and would out-wit the dumb ass that decided to cross me.

I don't agree with bullying but it makes us who we are as a society. Like it or not but to be a rounded culture we need someone to bully on and be bullied sometimes, it humbles us. Just like we need social classes to maintain society, it is just the way of life. If a child is bullied that really sucks and something should be done about it. They either need to learn to defend themselves or an adult needs to step in to diffuse the situation. There also needs to be discipline at home! It really shouldn't be any schools responsibility to control your child. Physical bullying should have serious consequences so the kid doesn't do it again. I think if a child has respect for his parents/teachers that they wouldn't have this type of behavior in the first place. Not to say a child that does have respect wouldn't bully but it wouldn't be a constant. I think the bottom line comes down to respect and self control.

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IslandSweetie

I think the thought about the children being bullied 100 years ago is a good one but there are some differences in today's world as compared to then.

Kids could actually get away from their bullies then... nowadays even if a kid changes schools they will still get bullying from cyber-space.

The other thought is, I truly believe as a society we had a better sense of family back then... a stronger family unit that made it easier to cope with the bullying. Nowadays kids can feel so lost especially if both parents are inattentive because they both work f/t and have another child or what not.

I wish I could find numbers on the number of children who commit suicide as a result of bullying, they need to be factored in as well because that is another reaction some students take as a result when the bullying gets too severe.

Something, somewhere this kids' life went wrong and he didn't have a supportive network to cope with these things so instead he wallowed in his depression. As someone who has been depressed in the past, I can understand what depression does to you... it doesn't make you yourself... and then if you're angry because of whatever other reason... its just a deadly combination.

I'm not sure where I'm really going with this... cause I agree, there are other ways to cope with bullying and depression than how this person did it. But in order for something to fail this kid to this point... something more had to have been going on than JUST bullying. If he was being bullied but had friends or family to rely on... its just like animals... take a dog that is tormented with no "safe place"... that dog will either become extremely depressed or extremely aggressive. You torment a dog that has a loving family, that dog will find refuge from the people who torment it and the aggression or fear will typically be isolated to those people who tormented it... this guy was just angry at the world so he had more going on than just bullying.

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iamsherbear

I think that even if a child is bullied that is still no reason to go and shoot people...
although i think we need to teach our kids that bullying is totally unacceptable.

There is someone in our neighborhood that my oldest, who is 5.5, grew up with. they were 6 months old when me and this mom met and starting around 9 or 10 or so months this other child would scratch and bite at my daughter...
this child bit my dd at her 2nd bday and possibly pushed her off our front brick stairs at my dd's 3rd bday.
although they always wanted to play and got excited to see each other they mostly fought...
then last year at least (sooner although dont recall when exactly) things got out of hand with the other child. she DID NOT like other kids playing with my dd and at my dd's 5th bday the other child was actually very mean to other kids trying to sit in the bday chair with my dd. I saw her being mean to other kids and even saw her verbally threaten a 1 yr old at our pool. she would be mean to other kids that were her friends and got very upset once when "her" friend picked my dd to swim beside. they were going up the swimming ladder and this child shoved my daughter and she almost fell off. her mom said it was probably an accident but NO it wasnt. i saw what happened. and that was how things always were...her daughter didnt mean to do it.
This child was also boy crazy (keep in mind she was just 5). she would chase around these boys and yell cute boy but that is going off subject. i didnt want my dd learning to be a bully or to chase boys and slowly tried to dwindle the friendship...although for some reason she stopped talking to me so that is done...

and i am so thankful that they go to different schools because if not they could not have been in the same room or the teacher's life would have been hell!!

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Sherry, SAHM to Rebecca Aeryn and Samantha Nicole

iamsherbear

[QUOTE=iamsherbear;606797]I think that even if a child is bullied that is still no reason to go and shoot people...
although i think we need to teach our kids that bullying is totally unacceptable.

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Sherry, SAHM to Rebecca Aeryn and Samantha Nicole

iamsherbear

opps sorry about the quote thingy. i had better get to bed. i was trying to fix something. lol

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Sherry, SAHM to Rebecca Aeryn and Samantha Nicole