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Old 05-11-07, 01:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Moms with 2 or more kids
Where were your other children when you wre having your baby? I am kind of going back and forth about letting Kayla stay in the delivery room or let her be somewhere else during the delivery. I want her there so she will be one of the first ones to meet her new brother. But then again I am wondering if she will understand all that is going on. I know that when I was having morning sickness she was very upset with me being sick. I am very confused. Any opinions?
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Old 05-11-07, 01:31 PM   #2
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
MY choice would be to have Haley be somewhere else, and have someone bring her after the birth. I think it depends on the child. How do you think Kayla will react?
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Old 05-11-07, 01:32 PM   #3
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Logan was at our house with my parents while I was having his sister. Granted she was 11 weeks early and I had already been in the hospital a few weeks by then but even full term I wouldn't have had him in the room for delivery as I feel he was (and still is) way to young to understand. He would just have been upset that Mommy was in pain.
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Old 05-11-07, 01:32 PM   #4
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Lexi was 7 at the time so she came to the hospital with us.
Since Kayla is younger, I dont know how she would handle it. It may wind up being more stressful. What if shes bored, what if she gets upset, etc. You dont need any added stress while delivering.
I would probably leave her with family, but made sure she was there right before the baby is to be born this way she can come in right after hes born so she can still be the first to meet him.
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Old 05-11-07, 01:36 PM   #5
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Corinne was at our house with my mom. Chris was the only one at the hospital and a few hours after Garrett was born he came home, got my mom and Corinne, and brought them back. That way my mom and Corinne were the second and third people to really meet Garrett, but he and I had some time with our new little guy alone first.
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Old 05-11-07, 01:40 PM   #6
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
I left Andrea at home, my parents came over and stayed with her. I agree with PP that she might be too young to understand what's going on, so maybe leave her with a relative and then have them bring her right after the baby comes?

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Old 05-11-07, 01:44 PM   #7
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
billy was 4 when matthew was born he was at my moms house. when billy was born i did have my 13 yr old sister there. she swore she'd never have kids. lol. she started watching but my mom says she quit as soon as the baby's head started coming out... i don't know, i was occupied.

i think it depends on the mom and the child. i couldn't have had my boys there i don't think i would want my daughter their either... but that is me. just too possible to scare them. but you know your child better than anyone if you think she would do well then more power to you both. good luck in the decision.
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Old 05-11-07, 01:55 PM   #8
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
when this baby is born, Andrew will probably be in the waiting room with my MIL. Or, he will be at DHs grandmas house with my MIL. I am having a scheduled c-section, but wouldn't have him in the room even if it was a vaginal delivery. He will just come in after I get situated in the post-par room or the recovery room depending on how I am feeling. When I was in the recovery room after having him, I was out like a light for a few hours cause of exhaustion.
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Old 05-11-07, 01:55 PM   #9
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Well I don't have any family here in Georgia and none of my IL's are here either. It will take my parents 12 hours to drive here from NY and my IL's 8 hours to drive from AL. Since DH will be deployed I have to depend on my best friend. I know that she will probably be upset when she sees me in pain but I don't want to be worrying about her "sleeping out" either. She hasn't sleep away from me since birth and it kind of scares me.
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Old 05-11-07, 01:59 PM   #10
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
At this age I would not bring them to the hospital for the delivery. Toddlers need constant attention and there will be open outlets, all sorts of things they will desperately need to explore, medical instruments, nurses, Dr and not to be graphic or disgusting but there is going to be a lot of blood and what not and a child underfoot is the last thing you need in there if something were to go wrong. I'm not sure how your labor with Kayla was with how far you got before your c-section but for me both times when I hit transition my DH was not allowed to talk or even touch me so having Sam there if he had started crying or was being a pain I would have totally freaked out. Who would be on hand to contain her and keep her from getting in the way? Would she willing let them hold her and keep her out of the way and not be upset by what was going on or the fact she was being restrained with all that stuff to get into? It's going to special when she first meets the baby no matter what but you are going to want to focus on the new baby and getting it here safely and easily and not the older toddler who is not going to understand anything that is going on and would probably make it stressful because of being scared and wanting her mother. Childbirth is a beautiful thing to someone old enough to understand it but to someone who is not it could be terrifying.
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Old 05-11-07, 02:51 PM   #11
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
I wouldn't have her there during the birth, but I do understand your worry. I am so sorry that you are havinng to do this without your DH and family.
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Old 05-11-07, 03:01 PM   #12
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Is there any way that some family could come "around" time for baby to come. I would not recommend her being there.

First my 2nd, my oldest son was in the waiting room with family for a while, but he got very restless (2 years old) so my sister took him home to rest.

For Ethan, both of the boys were school age. I went to the hospital the night before and they stayed with my parents until they got on the school bus then my parents came to meet me at the hospital.

Maybe you should start now with letting her sleep away from you, where you are able to help her with the transition if she has trouble.

Good luck and I am so sorry that DH will be deployed for this baby's birth. Tell him THANK YOU for all he does to defend our freedom!
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Old 05-11-07, 03:10 PM   #13
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
I would not have her there at this age. Both of my two older kids stayed with my parents while I was at the hospital, and they brought the kids a few hours after the baby was born. Birth is too unpredictable an experience. You don't know how long it will take or if you will have complications. When I had Hazel, I had a lot of difficulty after having two previous uneventful births and an uneventful pregnancy. I ended up losing lots of blood, passing out a couple of times, and just felt rotten. It was scary enough for dh, much less a two-year-old who doesn't understand. There are lots of things that can happen which would be very traumatic for her, not the least of which would be her inability to understand why Mommy can't give her the attention she wants and needs! If there's anywhere else she can go, it would probably be best for her, even though it's hard to be away from your LO for that amount of time, especially if it's the first time.
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Old 05-11-07, 03:16 PM   #14
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
I popped back in here to ask who is keeping her while you are recovering? She won't be able to spend the night there with you and you will be in the hospital for at least 48 hours after the birth. I ended up begging to get released at 24 hours but they were not thrilled with the idea and it ended up being more like 36 hours instead of 48. Anyway I'm just wondering if you have thought about that yet because you won't be going home within a few hours of him arriving. I'm sorry you are having to do this without your DH.
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Old 05-11-07, 03:22 PM   #15
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
It's going to be between my best friend and Kayla's godmother as to who she will be staying with. The thing is they have jobs and can't stay with her all day long. My parents aren't coming here until the first week of July because my father can't get off of work until then. It is going to be very difficult for the both of us.
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Old 05-11-07, 03:28 PM   #16
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
yikes! I wish I was near you to help!!!
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Old 05-11-07, 03:30 PM   #17
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Carla, you've gotten some great advice, I don't have any more. I'm just sorry that you are going thru this without your Hubby. I can not imagine how hard that must be. God Bless you both!
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Old 05-11-07, 03:30 PM   #18
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Wow you are really counting on a 40 weeker there! Yikes I hope he stays put till your family arrives to help. When does your DH deploy?
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Old 05-11-07, 03:37 PM   #19
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CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.CoopJax&Me knows that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
I've been thinking about the same thing Carla. We are going to have someone stay at our house with Cooper, not sure who yet, and have them come right down (as long as he's not sleeping ) to meet his brother. I can't imagine Cooper being there in the room with us while I'm in pain. I think he'd freak. Plus I know I'm going to need all of my concentration, KWIM? Knowing he's there will be very distracting.
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Old 05-11-07, 03:48 PM   #20
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Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”Lindsaybell agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”
Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Carla- I am sorry you are going through this without your DH. It is too bad your family isn't closer. I am going to have my parents, or MIL stay with Kate when I go into labor. I have never spent more than a few hours away from Kate. I know it is going to be hard on both of us. Hopefully between your friend and Kayla's GM they can work out something until your family gets there. I wish I was there to help out.
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Old 05-11-07, 03:50 PM   #21
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Jayden was at home with my mom (good thing she flew in the day before or I don't know what we would have done!), but he came up the next day to meet his baby brother (by the time I got into a post partum room it was after 10). Like Melissa said, having Jayden there would have been too distracting and I think he would have freaked out with all the pain I was in! I hope things work out for you!
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Old 05-11-07, 03:51 PM   #22
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Jacob stayed in my hospital room with our family members that were there.
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Old 05-11-07, 04:03 PM   #23
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Dh is deploying Jun 7. And I don't even want to get to the due date because my OB already told me if I go that far i will be getting another section.
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Old 05-11-07, 04:05 PM   #24
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Thank you all for your advice. I hope I can get things figured out before the time comes.
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Old 05-11-07, 07:21 PM   #25
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Quote:
Originally Posted by Molly View Post
yikes! I wish I was near you to help!!!
O me too I wish you were closer girlie I would SOOOOO help you out !!! {{{HUGS}}}

I watched my mom have one of my sisters, ((she had her at home)) I was 7 & it was TRAUMATIZING . . . LOL !!!! Not because of the labor my mom doesnt say a WORD while in labor, but because my sister was born with the sack over her head I thought I had a ghost for a sister ((Melissa thats why Jami is WACK like she is....LOL)) So when my mom had the next 2 she asked if I wanted to b there, I was QUICK to say NO. I said call me when they are CLEAN. . . LOL !!!!

So im with the others & say 'if' you can find someone to keep her I would only cause you just never know what could go on.
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Old 05-11-07, 08:24 PM   #26
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
I wouldn't advise this under normal circumstances, but have you thought about scheduling an induction? If you knew exactly when you were going to have the baby, maybe it would be easier for you and your friends to make arrangements for Kayla? Maybe if you scheduled for a Fri, they would have her for the weekend, and hopefully you would be home by Monday, and you wouldn't have to worry about finding arrangments during the week while they worked.

No one bash me please.
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Old 05-11-07, 08:28 PM   #27
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starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.starlingj4 knows no matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.
Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
When I had my dd I left my ds at a friends house(their son and mine were best friends). When I had my last child I had them in the l & b room until it was time for me to push and they were with my mil. After Connor was born they came in the room after I was all cleaned up. It was very special having them their to share in the joy.
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Old 05-12-07, 06:29 AM   #28
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Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Jennah&Jacksmom agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
Jennah stayed with my mom overnight when we were admitted to be induced - and stayed with her the next day while I was in labor. We had Jack at 4:51 and they were up at the hospital by 6...So she saw me in recovery and played for an hour and a half or so...then my mom took her home and dh went home shortly after to stay the night and keep Jennah the next day (my mom had to go to work)...so he brought Jennah up the next day and then my mom stopped over after work for a couple hours so Jay could come up to the hospital with me - and then he was back again at home with Jennah the second night and they came to pick us up the next morning...we really tried to keep Jennah's routine the same as much as possible - that was the most important thing for me was to have her schedule pretty much the same so it would be one less thing I had to worry about.
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Old 05-12-07, 07:14 AM   #29
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
No Mimi, I can't get induced because my doctor doesn't want to risk the rupture of the uterus.
You guys are so lucky to have family so close to you.
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Old 05-12-07, 08:33 AM   #30
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tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”tlc4ben agrees with Oscar Wilde: “One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”
Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
i know you are in georgia, but i dont know where. you can pm me. If i am close I can help. I am teaching summer school in june, but only a few hours in the morning m-thursday. I am sorry, this is such a hard decision.
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Old 05-12-07, 09:55 AM   #31
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Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Stacy'sStinkers agrees with Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Re: Moms with 2 or more kids
I think at this age, Kayla seeing Mommy in pain will probably scare her. I would have her somewhere else, maybe with a close friend that will bring her up to the hospital to visit after the baby is born.

When I had Kai, I knew he would be a fast birth since I was having a planned c-section. I had my parents keep Elijah overnight & they brought him up to the hospital in the morning before my c/s. I was very happy to see him. It was the last time that he would be MY 1 & only

He didn't know much about what was going on though because he didn't see me go through delivery or the c/s, just saw Mommy get wheeled into another room, then saw me when I came out.

He didn't even realize what was going on when my parents tried showing him the new baby through the nursery glass.

Good luck to you.
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