seriously considering this - Yada, Yada, Yada

lauragshsu · 11-05-09, 08:05 PM

I've been thinking for a while about having lap band surgery. What are your thoughts (pros and cons) of it?

*~Andrea~* · 11-05-09, 08:15 PM

Ok, I have considered it. (Still am) I go for another "informational session" on the 19th. However, I can say that this is a much better option than gastric bypass. It is removeable if there is a problem, the problems are much less sever - mostly slippage, ulcers or sores from the band rubbing, I can't remember what else off the top of my head. But death is not a highly likely. More likely from the act of surgery than anything. If there are complications, they can remove it. You lose weight at a regular rate of ~2lb./wk. They can adjust it if it is too loose.....fill it/remove some. Umm, I am trying to think of more, but I'm drawing a blank. Anyone else?? I will definately have more info after the meeting.

I had looked into it, went to the meeting and chickened out.

Jennah&Jacksmom · 11-06-09, 04:29 AM

My mom did it last August. She has lost some weight, but honestly, she is still morbidly obese. I don't think you can fix the mental part of being over weight, without first CHOOSING not to be overweight anymore. Her eating choices are poor. She can still eat a big plate of food. Its sad, really. I thought for sure this was going to be THE thing that pushed her to be healthy, but unfortunately it didn't work. The surgery and recovery was painful for her. The "fills" are painful if the nurse does them (the doc is a pro, but can't always be there). If I was morbidly obese, I honestly don't think I would do it seeing what she has gone through and the lack of results.

Catie45036 · 11-06-09, 06:17 AM

Funny this should come up because I was considering it and asked my OB/GYN about it when I went for my annual yesterday (thanks to whoever started the thread about going for your annual a couple of weeks ago...I hadn't been in 3 years and called and made an appt that day!). Anyway, she has a huge practice so I asked her opinion of the procedure and how her patients who had it had fared. Her response mirrors the above post.

She said that she'd seen a lot of patients do it, spend about $10K on the procedure and lose about 40 pounds. She said that in her opinion, that was too much money to spend on those kinds of results because if you get one, generally you need to lose a lot more than that. She said she wasn't opposed to the surgery for health reasons, she said there are virtually no complications, but the return on investment just wasn't there in her opinion. She also said she had just had a discussion with a surgeon who agreed and said that there were some new multi-year studies about to be released on lap-band which confirm that not enough weight is lost with most people.

After all that, I asked her what she would recommend and she steered me toward a medically managed weight loss program done by one of our local hospitals. Essentially it's a 21 week Optifast food replacement program, supervised by a physician (labs done every 2 weeks, etc) that incorporates a whole lot of behavioral therapy, work with a nutritionist, etc. Avg weight loss during the food replacement weeks (16 weeks ) is about 55-65 pounds, but I really liked their focus on maintenance (I went to the info meeting last night).

So that's what I'm going to be doing. Non-surgical Optifast program that's about $2500 instead of $10,000 for lap band. I liked the idea of the lap band and still do...but my doctor's unbiased opinion made me take a look at trying this before I invest that much money.

Good luck to all of us who struggle with this!

Pickle*Me*Elmo · 11-06-09, 06:36 AM

I know that there is a lady on our board (who I won't name unless she wants to talk about it,) that has had good results with the lap band. However, everyone I know in real life that has had it done has had little to no results. I think if you have the will power it takes to make the lap band surgery successful then you should have the willpower to do it without the band.

peg · 11-06-09, 07:17 AM

I agree that it is a lot of money that maybe can be better placed elsewhere w/nutritional counseling, exercise programs, etc. I know that we have all tried everything, but if we are held accountable to a program, maybe that would be money better spent? I am just not sure. I would talk to your doctor if you have one you trust for advice. (((hugs))) It's not a easy decision.

Elizabeth · 11-06-09, 09:30 AM

I agree, I think it's a temporary solution to a bigger problem. I think most people really need to change their lives before they lose weight. My therapist actually told me not to worry about my weight, when I get right with myself, it will automatically happen.

Aimie · 11-06-09, 09:40 AM

look in your local area for informational seminars i went to one and it really helped i have given myself till next spring to make neccesary changes within myself and then going for it if i still need it. there has to be BIG changes in the way you eat and what you eat for it. just as in the traditional things have to change. there may be additional costs involved with filling and unfilling the lap band for size changes and sicknesses, but the cost of that to me is less than the cost of possibly having to take vitamin supplements my whole life.

good luck deciding there is one mom that i know(kasey mentioned) that had it and looks and feels fabulous and she recommended it to me when i asked her about it. i'll make sure she knows this thread it here later incase she wants to chime in.

*~Andrea~* · 11-06-09, 09:43 AM

I am currently changing my eating habits and having ok results so far, I am hoping to keep it up. If I continue to lose and stick with it, I probably won't go through with it myself. Thanks for all the info, even though I wasn't the op.

Hope you make the right decision for you, Laura!

jacobsmommy · 11-06-09, 11:09 AM

One of my best friends had it done. She had been on several diets but never really stuck with it. I'm not sure if it was frustration or boredom but she always quit for one reason or another. At first she noticeably lost weight, dropped it like a rock. Her diet was no bread (pizza crust or otherwise), a certain portion of veggies/fruits per day, no pastas, vitamin supplements, etc...very strict. She was advised to limit her dining out because of the portion sizes and calories in the foods. She was also supposed to exercise 3-5 days/wk, for 30 min - 1hr. She stuck with it for a while, then slowly stopped adhering to the diet and stopped exercising. I don't think she's lost weight in several months. When asked she'll say she hasn't been really happy with the results. Honestly, I think if she followed the diet closer and exercised then she'd be doing a lot better. I think you have to really change your thinking and lifestyle for it to work and be successful long-term.

Tasha · 11-06-09, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *~Andrea~*

I am currently changing my eating habits and having ok results so far, I am hoping to keep it up.

You go girl.

8thCyn · 11-07-09, 07:51 AM

I lost 50lbs before I got pregnant with Joshua. I gained it all back. I am REALLY struggling this time to take it off. I know the biggest difference is in the mental. I know what to do, I'm just not doing it. I'm not exercising, which makes a big difference in my mood and motivation, and so then I eat crap. For me, it HAS to be both.

I also made a LOT of excuses before I lost the weight last time. I have PCOS, like I know you do, and I was absolutely bound and determined that the weight wasn't coming off because of it. Once I really started being honest with myself about what I was eating, reading EVERY label, weighing and measuring my food, I realized that I had been kidding myself BIG TIME. PCOS might make it harder, but it's not impossible. I guess it's like getting pg with PCOS - more challenging, but still doable (says the woman with four kids

)

Good luck with whatever you decide. I wish there WERE a magic pill.

SassyBecky · 11-07-09, 04:42 PM

Laura, I'm confused. For the last year plus you have talked about PCOS as the reason you haven't been able to lose weight. Now that it's diagnosed and you are on medication (I think) I'm not sure why you would need additional surgery to lose weight? I thought it was your undiagnosed disorder that was keeping you from losing weight in the past?

lauragshsu · 11-21-09, 07:09 PM

Apparently I just suck ass. Over the past six weeks, I lost 4lbs, only to gain six. I'm eating my fruits and veggies, healthy oils, dairy, taking my metformin, drinking a shitton of water, and exercising. My gyno suggested lapband to me after my pap appointment on Wednesday. i'm going to an informational meeting Dec 2 to see. DH is very wary about it because it is surgery. My thoughts are that I would rather do this now than have diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol in ten years. I want to see Emily get married, I want to be alive to become a grandmother. The rate I'm going now, I'm going to be lucky to make it to 50. Ither than PCOS, I don't have any weight-related health problems, and I want to prevent any from developing. I know it's not a magical solution, and I am committed to continuing to eat healthy and exercise.

Lovefam6 · 11-21-09, 07:17 PM

I think that is the most important thing Laura. You should go at least 4 mo of exercising and eating healthy before the surgery. As long as you are committed to it, you can do it. Self-Discipline is one of the hardest traits to develop and everyone has at least one area where they have little to none. You do what's going to make you happy!

haskellhunny · 11-21-09, 08:34 PM

You've done your best. Whatever you choose, I hope it helps you.

Catie45036 · 01-07-10, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catie45036

Funny this should come up because I was considering it and asked my OB/GYN about it when I went for my annual yesterday (thanks to whoever started the thread about going for your annual a couple of weeks ago...I hadn't been in 3 years and called and made an appt that day!). Anyway, she has a huge practice so I asked her opinion of the procedure and how her patients who had it had fared. Her response mirrors the above post.

She said that she'd seen a lot of patients do it, spend about $10K on the procedure and lose about 40 pounds. She said that in her opinion, that was too much money to spend on those kinds of results because if you get one, generally you need to lose a lot more than that. She said she wasn't opposed to the surgery for health reasons, she said there are virtually no complications, but the return on investment just wasn't there in her opinion. She also said she had just had a discussion with a surgeon who agreed and said that there were some new multi-year studies about to be released on lap-band which confirm that not enough weight is lost with most people.

After all that, I asked her what she would recommend and she steered me toward a medically managed weight loss program done by one of our local hospitals. Essentially it's a 21 week Optifast food replacement program, supervised by a physician (labs done every 2 weeks, etc) that incorporates a whole lot of behavioral therapy, work with a nutritionist, etc. Avg weight loss during the food replacement weeks (16 weeks ) is about 55-65 pounds, but I really liked their focus on maintenance (I went to the info meeting last night).

So that's what I'm going to be doing. Non-surgical Optifast program that's about $2500 instead of $10,000 for lap band. I liked the idea of the lap band and still do...but my doctor's unbiased opinion made me take a look at trying this before I invest that much money.

Good luck to all of us who struggle with this!

I just wanted to update this as I just completed week 7 of the program I talk about in this post. I have lost 25 lbs. and dropped 2 sizes thus far. Considering that I started the week before Thanksgiving and gave myself 3 "free pass" days during the holidays, I'm extraordinarily happy with the results thus far. I love my program and the counselors that I have been working with. I go to group on Wednesday nights and "check in" with a group of girls also going through the "reducing" phase of this program. We've become real cheerleaders for each other and I have the feeling that we'll continue to meet together after we're done with the program to keep motivated.

I can't recommend this type of program enough though the toughest part for me is yet to come. My counselor says that it takes a full year before habits really change so I am gearing up for a lot of hard work to maintain the weight loss after the program officially ends. My goal is to lose 75 lbs before integrating food back into my life, but I feel like I already have a lot of tools to manage with that I didn't have before.

Just an update from a slightly thinner me (with reduced BP and cholesterol levels) in 2010!

8thCyn · 01-07-10, 08:47 AM

That's great that you're having so much success, Catie. I almost said "luck", but I know from experience that "luck" has nothing to do with it!

Jayda's_Mommy · 02-09-10, 07:32 AM

WTG Catie!

Catie45036 · 02-09-10, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayda's_Mommy

WTG Catie!

Thanks!

It's funny that was a month ago and I'm down another 10 lbs from there. 35 lbs and counting.

I'm halfway through the "reducing" phase of this program, so I'm hoping for another 35 lbs gone before I start ramping up the food again. I'm already planning food choices for my "adapting" phase and have started to seriously look at the calorie counts on everything!

Anyway, thanks again for the props. I'm feeling good and the jeans are really baggy these days!

Chocaholic · 02-09-10, 12:38 PM

Yay Catie!!!!

EvansMommy716 · 02-09-10, 09:57 PM

That's awesome Catie! Keep up the good work! I'd like to lose about 25-30 lbs myself!

11-05-09, 08:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
lauragshsu It's only sexual harassment if you're going on a mission Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Mormonville Posts: 4,338 Thanks: 105 Thanked 287 Times in 187 Posts My Mood:	seriously considering this I've been thinking for a while about having lap band surgery. What are your thoughts (pros and cons) of it? __________________ Laura is going to be an Aunt! Emily's Second b-day party:

11-05-09, 08:15 PM	#2
~Andrea~ Yada, Yada, Yada Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 9,367 Thanks: 1,201 Thanked 1,015 Times in 861 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this Ok, I have considered it. (Still am) I go for another "informational session" on the 19th. However, I can say that this is a much better option than gastric bypass. It is removeable if there is a problem, the problems are much less sever - mostly slippage, ulcers or sores from the band rubbing, I can't remember what else off the top of my head. But death is not a highly likely. More likely from the act of surgery than anything. If there are complications, they can remove it. You lose weight at a regular rate of ~2lb./wk. They can adjust it if it is too loose.....fill it/remove some. Umm, I am trying to think of more, but I'm drawing a blank. Anyone else?? I will definately have more info after the meeting. I had looked into it, went to the meeting and chickened out. __________________

11-06-09, 04:29 AM	#3
Jennah&Jacksmom Jelly & Jam - my two sweet toppings Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 5,496 Thanks: 188 Thanked 394 Times in 369 Posts	Re: seriously considering this My mom did it last August. She has lost some weight, but honestly, she is still morbidly obese. I don't think you can fix the mental part of being over weight, without first CHOOSING not to be overweight anymore. Her eating choices are poor. She can still eat a big plate of food. Its sad, really. I thought for sure this was going to be THE thing that pushed her to be healthy, but unfortunately it didn't work. The surgery and recovery was painful for her. The "fills" are painful if the nurse does them (the doc is a pro, but can't always be there). If I was morbidly obese, I honestly don't think I would do it seeing what she has gone through and the lack of results. __________________

11-06-09, 06:17 AM	#4
Catie45036 Obama '08 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Lebanon, Ohio Posts: 1,821 Thanks: 24 Thanked 99 Times in 58 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this Funny this should come up because I was considering it and asked my OB/GYN about it when I went for my annual yesterday (thanks to whoever started the thread about going for your annual a couple of weeks ago...I hadn't been in 3 years and called and made an appt that day!). Anyway, she has a huge practice so I asked her opinion of the procedure and how her patients who had it had fared. Her response mirrors the above post. She said that she'd seen a lot of patients do it, spend about $10K on the procedure and lose about 40 pounds. She said that in her opinion, that was too much money to spend on those kinds of results because if you get one, generally you need to lose a lot more than that. She said she wasn't opposed to the surgery for health reasons, she said there are virtually no complications, but the return on investment just wasn't there in her opinion. She also said she had just had a discussion with a surgeon who agreed and said that there were some new multi-year studies about to be released on lap-band which confirm that not enough weight is lost with most people. After all that, I asked her what she would recommend and she steered me toward a medically managed weight loss program done by one of our local hospitals. Essentially it's a 21 week Optifast food replacement program, supervised by a physician (labs done every 2 weeks, etc) that incorporates a whole lot of behavioral therapy, work with a nutritionist, etc. Avg weight loss during the food replacement weeks (16 weeks ) is about 55-65 pounds, but I really liked their focus on maintenance (I went to the info meeting last night). So that's what I'm going to be doing. Non-surgical Optifast program that's about $2500 instead of $10,000 for lap band. I liked the idea of the lap band and still do...but my doctor's unbiased opinion made me take a look at trying this before I invest that much money. Good luck to all of us who struggle with this! __________________ We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature. - Abraham Lincoln

11-06-09, 06:36 AM	#5
PickleMeElmo Repopulating the Forest one Tree at a time Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: In my trailer bitches Posts: 10,313 Thanks: 150 Thanked 125 Times in 97 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this I know that there is a lady on our board (who I won't name unless she wants to talk about it,) that has had good results with the lap band. However, everyone I know in real life that has had it done has had little to no results. I think if you have the will power it takes to make the lap band surgery successful then you should have the willpower to do it without the band. __________________ Kasey Mom to Timber and Sawyer Mod of the Car Seat Forum!

11-06-09, 07:17 AM	#6
peg (209): "kindergarten is hard when you're hung over"~TFLN Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 14,352 Thanks: 2,214 Thanked 926 Times in 813 Posts	Re: seriously considering this I agree that it is a lot of money that maybe can be better placed elsewhere w/nutritional counseling, exercise programs, etc. I know that we have all tried everything, but if we are held accountable to a program, maybe that would be money better spent? I am just not sure. I would talk to your doctor if you have one you trust for advice. (((hugs))) It's not a easy decision. __________________

11-06-09, 09:30 AM	#7
Elizabeth Yada, Yada, Yada Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 7,864 Thanks: 430 Thanked 624 Times in 455 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this I agree, I think it's a temporary solution to a bigger problem. I think most people really need to change their lives before they lose weight. My therapist actually told me not to worry about my weight, when I get right with myself, it will automatically happen. __________________

11-06-09, 09:40 AM	#8
Aimie has a pain in the neck.... literally a PAIN in her neck!!! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Near Spokane Posts: 15,733 Thanks: 591 Thanked 489 Times in 409 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this look in your local area for informational seminars i went to one and it really helped i have given myself till next spring to make neccesary changes within myself and then going for it if i still need it. there has to be BIG changes in the way you eat and what you eat for it. just as in the traditional things have to change. there may be additional costs involved with filling and unfilling the lap band for size changes and sicknesses, but the cost of that to me is less than the cost of possibly having to take vitamin supplements my whole life. good luck deciding there is one mom that i know(kasey mentioned) that had it and looks and feels fabulous and she recommended it to me when i asked her about it. i'll make sure she knows this thread it here later incase she wants to chime in. __________________ ticker gone.... we're staying in washington!!!

11-06-09, 09:43 AM	#9
~Andrea~ Yada, Yada, Yada Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 9,367 Thanks: 1,201 Thanked 1,015 Times in 861 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this I am currently changing my eating habits and having ok results so far, I am hoping to keep it up. If I continue to lose and stick with it, I probably won't go through with it myself. Thanks for all the info, even though I wasn't the op. Hope you make the right decision for you, Laura! __________________

11-06-09, 11:09 AM	#10
jacobsmommy And Jackson Too! Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,860 Thanks: 16 Thanked 85 Times in 55 Posts	Re: seriously considering this One of my best friends had it done. She had been on several diets but never really stuck with it. I'm not sure if it was frustration or boredom but she always quit for one reason or another. At first she noticeably lost weight, dropped it like a rock. Her diet was no bread (pizza crust or otherwise), a certain portion of veggies/fruits per day, no pastas, vitamin supplements, etc...very strict. She was advised to limit her dining out because of the portion sizes and calories in the foods. She was also supposed to exercise 3-5 days/wk, for 30 min - 1hr. She stuck with it for a while, then slowly stopped adhering to the diet and stopped exercising. I don't think she's lost weight in several months. When asked she'll say she hasn't been really happy with the results. Honestly, I think if she followed the diet closer and exercised then she'd be doing a lot better. I think you have to really change your thinking and lifestyle for it to work and be successful long-term. __________________ Beth Proud Mommy to Jacob (9/04) and Jackson (8/07) Why is common sense, so UNcommon?

11-07-09, 07:51 AM	#12
8thCyn Mommy of four??? WHAT??? Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Ontario Posts: 5,773 Thanks: 90 Thanked 279 Times in 243 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this I lost 50lbs before I got pregnant with Joshua. I gained it all back. I am REALLY struggling this time to take it off. I know the biggest difference is in the mental. I know what to do, I'm just not doing it. I'm not exercising, which makes a big difference in my mood and motivation, and so then I eat crap. For me, it HAS to be both. I also made a LOT of excuses before I lost the weight last time. I have PCOS, like I know you do, and I was absolutely bound and determined that the weight wasn't coming off because of it. Once I really started being honest with myself about what I was eating, reading EVERY label, weighing and measuring my food, I realized that I had been kidding myself BIG TIME. PCOS might make it harder, but it's not impossible. I guess it's like getting pg with PCOS - more challenging, but still doable (says the woman with four kids ) Good luck with whatever you decide. I wish there WERE a magic pill. __________________ Cyn Mod of The First Year Mod of Food Addiction - PM me for details Emma (Feb 6'01) Charlotte (Jul 14'05) Andrew (Aug 22'06) Joshua (Apr 14'09) www.climbinguptheslide.com

11-07-09, 04:42 PM	#13
SassyBecky too good for a custom ♥♥♥♥ title. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 10,832 Thanks: 560 Thanked 789 Times in 636 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this Laura, I'm confused. For the last year plus you have talked about PCOS as the reason you haven't been able to lose weight. Now that it's diagnosed and you are on medication (I think) I'm not sure why you would need additional surgery to lose weight? I thought it was your undiagnosed disorder that was keeping you from losing weight in the past? __________________

11-21-09, 07:09 PM	#14
lauragshsu It's only sexual harassment if you're going on a mission Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Mormonville Posts: 4,338 Thanks: 105 Thanked 287 Times in 187 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this Apparently I just suck ass. Over the past six weeks, I lost 4lbs, only to gain six. I'm eating my fruits and veggies, healthy oils, dairy, taking my metformin, drinking a shitton of water, and exercising. My gyno suggested lapband to me after my pap appointment on Wednesday. i'm going to an informational meeting Dec 2 to see. DH is very wary about it because it is surgery. My thoughts are that I would rather do this now than have diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol in ten years. I want to see Emily get married, I want to be alive to become a grandmother. The rate I'm going now, I'm going to be lucky to make it to 50. Ither than PCOS, I don't have any weight-related health problems, and I want to prevent any from developing. I know it's not a magical solution, and I am committed to continuing to eat healthy and exercise. __________________ Laura is going to be an Aunt! Emily's Second b-day party:

11-21-09, 07:17 PM	#15
Lovefam6 Life is all about the little things. Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Midwest IL. Posts: 5,059 Thanks: 133 Thanked 306 Times in 244 Posts	Re: seriously considering this I think that is the most important thing Laura. You should go at least 4 mo of exercising and eating healthy before the surgery. As long as you are committed to it, you can do it. Self-Discipline is one of the hardest traits to develop and everyone has at least one area where they have little to none. You do what's going to make you happy! __________________ *Dacia*

11-21-09, 08:34 PM	#16
haskellhunny Yada, Yada, Yada Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 15,509 Thanks: 555 Thanked 1,107 Times in 884 Posts My Mood:	Re: seriously considering this You've done your best. Whatever you choose, I hope it helps you.

02-09-10, 07:32 AM	#19
Jayda's_Mommy Taking my princess to Disney in March!! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: South Texas Posts: 5,202 Thanks: 82 Thanked 160 Times in 159 Posts	WTG Catie! __________________ http://dancingwithcinderella.blogspot.com/

01-07-10, 08:47 AM	#18
8thCyn Mommy of four??? WHAT??? Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Ontario Posts: 5,773 Thanks: 90 Thanked 279 Times in 243 Posts My Mood:	That's great that you're having so much success, Catie. I almost said "luck", but I know from experience that "luck" has nothing to do with it! __________________ Cyn Mod of The First Year Mod of Food Addiction - PM me for details Emma (Feb 6'01) Charlotte (Jul 14'05) Andrew (Aug 22'06) Joshua (Apr 14'09) www.climbinguptheslide.com

02-09-10, 12:38 PM	#21
Chocaholic Love is in the air.... Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,930 Thanks: 153 Thanked 400 Times in 334 Posts My Mood:	Yay Catie!!!! __________________ ~Cindy~ Mom to Ian & Claire http://tinnyanna.blogspot.com/

02-09-10, 09:57 PM	#22
EvansMommy716 Expecting A September 09 Bundle Of Joy!!! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Cincy, Ohio! Posts: 8,678 Thanks: 715 Thanked 250 Times in 198 Posts My Mood:	That's awesome Catie! Keep up the good work! I'd like to lose about 25-30 lbs myself! __________________ Selena Mother To Evan - July 16, 2005 Wife To Gerald - June 15, 2002 Benjamin Scott - September 19, 2009!