Thread: Freaking pissed

Yeah I would be hurt and upset about that! She's known about the party for a while!!
I'm sorry Whitney!

Yep she's known about it for at least 3 weeks and now this
I think my feelings are more hurt than anything. I know my daughter's party is still going to be alot of fun, I just hate that I don't think she was even going to tell me that she wasn't going to make it

considering the back history I would be pissed! Sounds like the BF is a controll freak. ( JMO)

He is a control freak, you nailed it totally

I'd be a little peaved, too. She'll need her friends one day, and she'll just have to hope they're still there for her...

Hope your little one has a great party and a Happy Birthday!

aww sorry to hear sweetie, if it were me i would back away from her for a while, there is no reason you should get hurt time after time, i have a friend that is that way and i don't really talk to her anymore (use to be a best friend) some friends grow apart from any reason that you have kids and they don't to there boyfriends to the lifestyle they want. . but i can't blame you for being hurt i would be also. I've also gone as far as to tell them that when they get there head on straight and figure things out that i'll be here but until then i'm not going to try and make plans with them any more since they blow me off everytime.

I would be frustrated and disappointed.

I have a friend who always pulls crap like that...we were like SUPER close in college and now we rarely talk. I gave up. Everytime I invited her to anything, she came up with some excuse not to go. I invited her to her bridal shower in March and she couldn't make it because her BF's parents (she had been with him less than a year!) were going to be in town for the WEEKEND. So what's a couple hours to come to my bridal shower??? Ugh. And then she has the nerve to say she wishes she could have gone to the wedding but understood my space issues (it was very small and mainly family). I was pissed so I totally understand you being pissed at this friend of yours!

I would be upset but I would have told her too. I'm sorry this has happened.

I would be upset too. Seems like her boyfriend tells her what to do. I am sorry this happened.

Whit~ I'd be hurt. flat out, that's what I'd be it sounds like she wants to please both you and her bf and her bf...is moving up the chain so to speak. Especially if you have the feeling that she wasn't even going to tell you that she wasn't going to come. I'm sorry that she's being like this it's tough when you have a good friend that sort of "loses interest"....

(((hugs)))) I'd come to Hailey's party if I was closer then her and Ethan could meet

Well they are going to have to meet sooner or later Charity... after all he is her betrothed
HAHAHAHAHA!

I have actually been iN this situation and it sucks! Some people get so wrapped up in their own little world that they forget how they impact others.

I am so sorry your friend has let you down.

he he he.... true...very true

Thanks, I'm sure things will calm down. I'm not one to hold grudges but I am going to keep my distance from her for a little while.

Yeah I think you have a right to be irritated definitely. I agree though...sounds like a control freak!

I am sorry, I would be pissed too, For one thing your party on Sunday was her original plan for that day, if the other parties plans got changed tough luck she commited to your party first. My nephew was my life before I had my own kids and there is no way that I would have missed his first bday party. He is 19 months older than my daughter. well when My daughters first bday came around my BIL & SIL missed it because they had to "go down to another town to go to the international market" she is philipino (sorry for the spelling) and they had come in from a couple hours away, okay but her party lasted until past 11pm and still they didn't show and I know that store was long closed. I am still angry about it. I am sure you feel the same way about your close friend.

I would be mad. She should have told you, and she should come to yours and leave early and then go to that. Sorry this has happened!

If that conversation is the usual pattern of behavior, then I wouldn't put much stock in what that friend says or promises to do. Some people are just flakey like that. Good thing is, your party will still have a ton of wonderful people there. It is her loss if she doesn't make it. You are a wonderful person and she isn't being a good friend. Sounds like she needs to crawl out of her boyfriend's butt and get a grip on her life. You know, some people secretly get off on the fact that they are being controlled and also get off on the drama that is created by it.

I feel you! It sucks when we think we can depend on someone - especially someone who is supposed to be a friend!

I don't want anyone to think that I'm taking the light off Whitney, but let me explain my similar story...

I had this friend that I'd known superficially for quite some time through association. As time went on, we did get closer - practically inseperable - as it turned out that we had too much in common between our associations. She began to date one of my husband's best friends (her & I already began to strongly bond, so the trust was there); they moved in together etc., etc.

My husband & I were pregnant with our first daughter (Diva - now 4 years old). My friend always seemed so happy for me, seemed supportive through my new found problems in my realtionship... and went as far as to assert that she wanted to be the Godmother & throw the baby shower! I was so excited! She even conffessed that she had never done a baby shower before, even through all her nieces & nephews. I gave her & my sister resources because I felt if they really wanted to do it, they'd take the time to get in contact, ask around for resources, whatever. Heard nothing. I just assumed they had it down...

It got closer to the delivery date. I had an accident & quick working early... no word. My new in-laws threw me a last minute shower - with the baby there.

So, what happened was, apparently, there was a convention in Las Veags that they had already reserved for that weekend. Okay, I understand, it's business. Right?

A couple days after they get back, all she talked about was how much fun they had going to clubs & so-&-so came up to surprise them & they had sooooo much fun!

When I asked about the convention, I got a split second of silence & gasp at the same time...

"oh, yeah ,it was great..."

This was the defining moment for me in our friendship. I have to admit, that there were times when I got too caught up in a relationship that I would forget about not only my friends, but ME! Before this incident, there were many others, this was just the last straw basically. This is when I realized how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ing a relationship can be, in so many ways than one - a) disservcie to self, b) loss of accountablity, c) loss of identity d) delusional realtionships - lack of perspective - better-known-as no sense of reality! e) lack of self-respect by not just saying I'm me but "I'm-me-not-a-part-of-you"...

So at that point I realized, I had done more than is necessary for our friendship. So, I figured she will contribute when & if she can. But most importantly, I DO NOT have to depend on her anymore! Being released from that obligation has done wonders for me these last 3 years when "feeling out" levels of intamacy with the people I care about & those that seem to care about me.

How your friend is currently dealing with her relationship in comparison to the friendship bond she shares with you is probably nothing personal between the two of you. I have learned that we take things out on those we feel are most secure in our lives (closest to us) - basically take-for-granted - because we have been allowed to be accepted on so many different levels. We just assume that "Oh. they'll get over it or they'll understand." She may feel a need to secure her current relationship because she feels you'll always be there.

So what I am trying to say is, just humbly, graciously let her go. Let her figure out what it is about this boyfriend she may or may not need so badly. Sometimes it takes losing a good friend to make better friends, to learn respect for others, & learn better respect for our own self.

i would be very hurt and upset, especially if she has known about the party for awhile and then all of sudden when something else comes out she decides to do that.. thats sad !